It Seems Like My Automatic Mode Switch Broke…My Brain and Fibromyalgia

I keep thinking I’ll write about the various things I do to combat fibromyalgia, but then I realized that on their own individually, they are just things that, sure, they seem like good things to do, but it’s hard to make some new compelling argument for each one on their own (but I’m sure I will try at some point). It just seems like lots of the same old stuff that everyone knows is a good idea…exercise, get some sleep, cut down on stress, etc etc…blah, blah blah blah, blah…

And, after years of my own self-prescribed trial and error efforts with myself as the experimental guinea pig, I can say I ended up doing lots of those “good” things…because they helped.

But, it wasn’t until after years of doing them, that I saw a BIGGER PICTURE…that it occurred to me, as to what SEEMED to be happening in my body and why I SEEMED to need to do them.

So let me explain.

Fibromyalgia…I’ve never been one to delve into all the specifics of what causes it, or even what it is. Yes, I’ve seen various explanations of what is known and/or believed to be known about it over the years and I admit I have my times here and there of wondering (and venturing guesses) about what caused my fibromyalgia, but for the most part (and this is a personal thing), quite frankly…I just haven’t cared that much. Right from the start, even before I had a diagnosis, I pretty much just got on with trying to live with it. I have things I want to do in life. I care more about functioning the best I can with it.

So I spent years muddling through and struggling, slowly figuring out what helped (and what didn’t). At some point I ended up with some definite thoughts on what things I thought were key things I should be trying to do to have the best quality of life I could have (with fibromyalgia).

And then an idea struck me as to what it seemed like I was doing when I did all these things to keep everything (fibromyalgia) under control. Now this is purely my idea and it’s only based on what SEEMS to be happening to me, but I find it useful to think of it in this way. It gives me the reason to do the things that I know I should do but are (really) hard to do…like drag my aching body out of bed and down to my basement early each weekday morning to work out.

It suddenly struck me that it seems like some things that are automatically regulated in other people’s brains each day don’t happen automatically in MY brain…it’s like my “automatic mode switch” got broken so I have to ”manually reset” it every day.

And I have to do all these things to reset it.

For example, say a “normal” person doesn’t get enough sleep…their automatic system kicks in and they still wake up with a sense of well-being and their body feels fine like usual but they are tired all day (I remember…I used to be “normal”). Now if I don’t get enough sleep, I wake up hurting all over (more than the usual) with (instead of a feeling of well-being) a feeling of being (the best I can describe it) a walking corpse. This lasts all day (or really, until I can get enough sleep), all the while being so exhausted I can hardly think and struggle to get much of anything done. I need to get enough sleep to “manually reset” my sense of well-being and general functionality. It doesn’t happen automatically for me anymore.

And resetting each day involves a real balance of trying to do a number of things (which I’ll keep talking about in future blog posts). If I don’t do one, it can affect another…like if I don’t work out, it can make it harder to get good sleep that night, then I get so exhausted, it gets tougher to get anything done the next day much less work out, and then I’m behind on everything and still exhausted, so then I’m extra stressed and finding it hard to be positive…and so on…and so on…(you know the drill…)   ‎

‎So I find I have to work hard at being as disciplined as I can because these key things seem to work together and depend on each other. If I didn’t sleep well and I’m exhausted, I still force myself to work-out. And when I slip a bit (or quite a bit), I just keep (sometimes pretty slowly) chipping away at it to get back on course, because basically, after all this time, I know it’s the only way.

Now that I think about it, this kind of makes sense when you consider that fibromyalgia apparently originates in the brain. Right from the start I’ve always sensed it’s a brain thing‎; it feels different than anything I’d ever felt before, hard to describe but just an odd difference to it.

And now that I think of it, all of the key things in the mix of things I find help with fibromyalgia DO have positive effects on the brain. It seems like I am going to the root of the problem then, when I focus my efforts on these things because they affect my brain, things like working out to boost serotonin levels and endorphins, reducing stress and getting restorative sleep to name a few key ones. I find if I do that, the positive results seem to play out in my body, with the result being a lot less bad symptoms. And when my symptoms do flare up, I take inventory of these key things and see which ones I’ve let slide a bit or just need more work on and then I work to improve and “manually reset” myself again.

So I guess then, pain and symptoms in my body, for me, is a signal to (in fact, I guess) work on my brain. (IMPORTANT NOTE: This is NOT the same as saying “It’s all in my head.”!!!)

I can’t speak for others, but this is what it seems like to me and what I know is real is that thinking that I need to keep “manually resetting” helps me to force myself to keep doing the things I have found have a real positive effect on my fibromyalgia symptoms. And when I manage to do that, then the bonus kicks in…what I have found is that then I get the flipside of the vicious circle that we so often find ourselves in with fibromyalgia…it becomes a “virtuous circle” in that the more you force yourself to do the key things that help, the better you feel and the easier it gets to keep doing those things, so the better you keep feeling!

I know this, for real, because it is happening to me.