So recently I decided to revisit a favourite little book of mine, a total gem of a book, an ongoing little couple-pages-a-day stress support system, my everyday pick-me-up, my every night little escape-to-nice-thoughts before I drift off to sleep.

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All that in one book!?

Yes!!

So let me explain.

The book is “DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF…and it’s all small stuff“ by Richard Carlson.

Maybe you’ve read it before; I had too. It was first published in 1997, bought for me years ago, before I had fibromyalgia, as a gift from a close family member who found it absolutely life changing after it was highly recommended by a counsellor to help them with anxiety and depression. And I found it enlightening and uplifting, with the definite potential to be long term life changing but I put it aside after reading it and then forgot about it for years as I plodded through life with fibromyalgia trying to simply keep my head above water…no time for books I thought…until recently.

Until I came across it and remembered how enlightening and uplifting it had been and realized how perfect it would fit into my fibromyalgia life; it could help me continue to combat my fibromyalgia in so many ways!

It’s such a phenomenal little “life” kind of book for anyone…very specific, simple yet powerful strategies…laid out in super short, easy, insightful and supportive-to-read, mostly one and a half page “chapters”…things one can start doing immediately…positive illuminating things…things that help one respond to life more calm and stress-free. (PING…stress-free!?…that always sets off my radar and grabs my attention…because I absolutely know less stress can only be a good thing for my fibromyalgia…a very good thing!)

As soon as I began reading it again…it was eye opening and I knew it would be life changing…countless new perspectives, take-aways, that I could very much use each and every day.

Why, it fits like a glove with my own “change what I think” strategy that I’ve used for decades and talked about in many posts, in that when you change how you think about something, it changes your perspective…it changes how you feel…(it lessens stress)…(which lessens symptoms)…it changes your life. This entire little book is a treasure trove of actual (daily!) strategies to do this!

And I can’t emphasize that characteristic enough…it’s a “little” book…filled with “little” chapters…one hundred “little” chapters (strategies!) to be exact. So why do I like “little” so much?

Well, if you haven’t already guessed, “little” makes for perfect reading for someone with the memory, attention and sometimes even comprehension issues of fibro fog, someone who falls asleep on the book after reading a page or two (from fatigue) at times, someone whose life is hard to plan or know what one day to the next will bring at the best of times, someone whose life is disrupted and interrupted for weeks on end (beyond their control) at the worst (flares), someone who could definitely use a little daily pick-me-up here or there…YES, sound familiar?…I know you guessed by now…someone with fibromyalgia!

I say “daily” pick-me-up because that’s how the book was recommended to me to be read, one chapter each day (which again, is often only a page and a half) and I find I love it that way.

It’s very helpful that the strategies are in small doses, small daily pick-me-ups, each little gem in one and a half to twoish small easily readable and enjoyable pages. They make it easy to keep my focus for those times when fatigue or fibro fog are taking over, not too much to remember or comprehend at a time, easy to fit into my day somewhere, consistently, no matter what is going on or how I feel.

And not only are they easy to fit into my day, as little pick-me-ups, short and sweet (which, by the way, is sometimes the sole way I use the book and that in itself is a godsend(!) for helping to combat and keep depression at bay),  these small doses make it easier and more likely for me to incorporate them into my already overloaded fibromyalgia life, long term.

Yes, I absolutely love having these little positive, enlightening strategies swirling around in my head as I go about my day, but I also want to use them to better myself.

I find it enjoyable to try these little bite size changes, bit by bit, here and there, not too much at once…I’m more likely to absorb them and actually incorporate them into my life when I’m not overwhelmed with such an overload of new information. And I find, when I’m able to do this, they do help me keep life in perspective more, which, while I’m pushing and/or dragging myself through daily life with fibromyalgia, is definitely a huge help on the stress front.

And stress? Well, as I’ve detailed in an earlier post, “It’s the very first thing I learned about my fibromyalgia…and I certainly didn’t know then that I had already probably pinpointed the most important thing I may ever need to know about my fibromyalgia.” And, “I always realize that, more often than not, it’s not the actual circumstances or events going on in my life that are causing me the stress…the stress is coming from HOW I’M THINKING ABOUT THEM.”

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This little book reinforces this over and over again in every strategy in all one hundred chapters…by giving specific ways to think, perspective that is, to be a calmer, less stressed individual.

And yes, ANYTHING that helps me lessen stress, a key trigger for my symptoms, can only be good for my fibromyalgia…very good for my fibromyalgia! I find I never lose my enthusiasm for adding to my own repertoire of gleaned-over-the-years stress strategies and Richard Carlson’s little book absolutely fits the ticket.

So, there’s a lot of ways to use this little gem of a book, and of course it’s up to the individual how best they would enjoy it. Maybe some would read it in one sitting; I have thought of that at times as I enjoy it so much…I do often want to read ahead, anxious to take in the next little pearl of wisdom…but I’ve always opted for the daily pick-me-up as it fits so well for me, having fibromyalgia.

I started out reading a “chapter” every morning, first thing, to help start my day with a little injection of positiveness right off the bat, something new and enlightening to start each day…a boost to help battle the “down” feeling I have waking up at times, as I’ve talked about in a previous post about depression plus just some added motivation to actually get my hurting (fibromyalgia) body up, out of bed, and moving.

It wasn’t too long before I decided to reread it at bedtime, snuggled in my bed, to remember and absorb the message more (fibro fog!…need I say more!?) and go to sleep on a positive note too, getting my mind off my daily life and onto loftier ideals to relax and drift off to sleep with and maybe (hopefully) make for a nice night’s sleep and an equally nice wake up.

And as I found gem after gem in these strategies, I started to think maybe I will continually reread the book over and over again…I’m on my third time in a row reading it now and for me personally, it is the gift that just keeps on giving!

I’ve started my day with it…I’ve ended my day with it…I’ve started and ended my day with it. I’ve caught myself remembering the “strategy/chapter” I read that morning at some point as I go about my day and it’s brought a little lift to me, my own secret stress support-system, sometimes motivating, always calming and relaxing.

And then again, I’ve totally enjoyed it some mornings, only to have what I read go in one ear and out the other as my focus needs to be on the tasks at hand throughout my day to get anything done. (thanks fibro fog!) On the plus side of that, I get to snuggle in bed and see what “new” gem awaits me that night all over again…even though I’ve read it that morning, I’ve forgotten it so it feels like the first time again! (thanks again fibro fog!)

While I absolutely love the daily pick-me-up that I get (and don’t get me wrong, that in itself, is more than enough reason to be thrilled with this book!), I’ve really wanted to remember and absorb all these little “lessons”, permanently internalizing the strategies. I’ve tried leaving the book where I would see it often throughout my day, maybe on my kitchen counter, and made a conscious effort to keep remembering each day’s message throughout each day. I’ve also thought maybe I should reread each “chapter” twice every day, morning and night, each chapter for an entire week at a time, to absorb the lessons more so they become even more actionable in my life.

One thing’s for sure, I’m determined to internalize more and more of the enlightened perspective I always get from each chapter…this book is just too excellent to not try to retain and practice as much as possible…THERE’S ONE HUNDRED POWERFUL STRATEGIES IN IT!

And as I’ve read through them, more than once I have come across JUST ONE that I felt, if I could remember to practice and internalize IT alone, that would be SOMETHING…something truly helpful to be a more serene person moving through life!

Wow, just so many major new take-aways in one little book!

And even the few strategies in it I was already familiar with? Well, I STILL find someone else saying it, maybe in a different way or expanding on it…is always a good reminder and reinforcement leading me to a renewed interest and adoption of the strategy, maybe for new circumstances in my life (especially my fibromyalgia circumstance) or simply to become a wiser me.

Yes, what I know is real is the powerful strategies in “DON’T SWEAT THE SMALL STUFF…and it’s all small stuff” are turning out to be timeless for me. Even though I initially read it well over a decade earlier, I’ve found it amazing to read through again years later in an entirely different place in my life, with a totally renewed need for it and an entirely new perspective gained from it.

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That is, a fibromyalgia place in my life, where an ongoing little couple-pages-a-day stress support system, an everyday pick-me-up, and an every night little escape-to-nice-thoughts before I drift off to sleep is an especially welcome thing!

And I’m finding I Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff as much now as I continue to absorb all these wonderful little new and illuminating gems…I’m adopting a calmer, more serene…less stressed(!)…perspective in my fibromyalgia life as I am reminded daily that basically…it’s all small stuff.

It seems like sometimes people are asking me for a quick fix treatment for fibromyalgia.

I guess we’d all love a quick fix.

If you want a quick fix…I’ve had it for seventeen years now, so obviously…personally, I haven’t found it. But then again, I haven’t looked for one…and therein, maybe, lies the secret to my success. Yes, I said SUCCESS.

Because I HAVE found a PATH…sure it’s been a prolonged path that feels like some sort of extended, arduous, inescapable, imposed journey…like maybe finding my way through a dark tunnel…through a mountain…by myself…uphill at times, many slips and stumbles and falls and setbacks, some pretty bleak periods, but with glimpses of light now and then, always challenging and difficult but every once in awhile a corner is turned…and solid unmistakable progress is won.

But for some time now, unexpectedly for sure, and in spite of not looking for a quick fix but maybe because of it, I’ve slowly but surely sensed that I’m at long last…FINALLY…coming out the other side…

So let me explain.

Now I don’t mean to be a downer (bear with me) but as I look around, I’m not sure WHY there WOULD be a quick fix for fibromyalgia; maybe I’ve missed something but I don’t see ANY quick (long lasting) fixes for ANY chronic illnesses (hence the name chronic). And I’ve felt that way from the start, maybe because I’d experienced chronic illness before, but more likely because I’d witnessed a close family member live with MS for over a decade. Right from the start I felt I had a long-term condition that I would need to learn to live my best life with and I fully expected it to be for the rest of my life.

So, and this is totally a personal thing, I haven’t looked for a quick fix because I wasn’t expecting one.

I often notice others with fibromyalgia saying they’ve looked for and tried everything. Well, I know this sounds hard to believe, but outside of an informational book about fibromyalgia that I read early on that gave me a bit of working knowledge, I kind of kept blinders on to most things fibromyalgia.

Truth is, I have not looked for…nor tried…ANYTHING that would be considered a quick fix for fibromyalgia…not once…in seventeen years.

(And I’ve found I haven’t needed to.)

When I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia, my life was busy…swamped really, raising three young children while managing the construction of my new house…I was just trying to keep my head above water. I needed to get on with living my life as best I could given my new (fibromyalgia) circumstance and I needed to get on with it immediately. As I talked about in an earlier post, before I even had a diagnosis, I quickly resumed my “combat mode” that had helped so much with my earlier chronic illness, whereby “I would try doing anything I could do to feel as healthy as possible in every other way” to try to OFFSET the illness as much as possible and just try to FUNCTION in my life. And this consisted of doing all those tried and true things that “regular” people (who don’t have chronic illness) do to be and feel healthy and increase their energy…exercise, eat healthy etc. (only I had to struggle to maintain these in the mix while fibromyalgia worked against me every step of the way!).

And to be clear, my “combat mode” wasn’t really about correcting any unhealthiness I had when I got fibromyalgia (as I’ve heard some speculate is a cause of fibromyalgia); no, I was already extremely healthy and active when I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia and I had been for many years.

My “combat mode” was more about what I did AFTER I was diagnosed…about feeling the best I could GOING FORWARD…WITH fibromyalgia…about FUNCTIONING in life with chronic illness.

So I was busy…and I didn’t want to dwell on my fibromyalgia…I didn’t want to be “sick”…I wanted to “minimize it”. I kept the focus on the healthy things I now needed to do (“combat mode”) and on the rest of my life…raising my young family, managing the construction of my house, working on my business, whatever else was going on, “deliberate denial” is how I thought of it…my focus was on almost anything BUT fibromyalgia.

Yes, my focus was on almost anything BUT fibromyalgia, not only in the way I lived my life for the past seventeen years, but also (maybe ironically) in the way I treated my fibromyalgia, although in fact, I was actually doing so much to treat it!

While so much of what I did every day was geared towards being the healthiest I could be to “treat” my fibromyalgia, nothing that I did was ACTUALLY, DIRECTLY, FOR my fibromyalgia. Does that make sense?

As I kept living my life as best I could, I also kept continually keeping my eyes open for new tips to contribute to my “combat mode”, that is, to make myself healthier OVERALL. Over the years I’ve found all sorts of things…better more balanced workout routines, specific exercises for my lower back, healthier foods to add in, foods for specific purposes like “brain foods”, foods that help with sleep, foods that help with IBS (and foods that don’t!), healthy teas, ways to manage stress, etc. etc.…all things that would help “regular” people but never any kind of direct “fix” specifically for my overall fibromyalgia.

Right or wrong, sensible or not sensible, I don’t know…I just wasn’t expecting one.

And besides, I liked working on my overall health and all the benefits that came with it, not just fibromyalgia-wise but as I talked about in a previous post, “regular” people-wise too. I wanted to be doing this and I used my fibromyalgia as another reason to compel me to do it.

So I focused on the tried and true regular healthy things, that would help anyone feel better as their overall healthiness kept improving. I haven’t been distracted or went off on a different track, searching for quick fixes. Someone can certainly do both, but I think I personally would have lost the focus and discipline I needed to keep up the persistent routines I have maintained.

And not searching for a quick fix has allowed me to avoid the ups and downs, highs and lows of trying new “magic bullets” that fail, that personally I feel could draw me down into the stress and/or depression/worsening symptoms vicious circle that we, with fibromyalgia, so often teeter on the edge of, as I’ve talked about in previous posts.

And not expecting any quick fix has pushed me to work hard to consistently drag and push myself through these demanding routines (often the last things I feel like, or capable of, doing!) to do the things that over time have turned out to be the actual answer for me. They have been MY ONLY LINE OF DEFENSE (especially as I didn’t take any medications)…I HAD TO MAKE THEM WORK…I DIDN’T EXPECT THAT ANYTHING ELSE WAS COMING. Of course, I had no idea when I started this “combat mode” approach, that these things would make as big a difference as they have and this approach would be all I’d ever need to do!

And as the years have gone by and I’ve seen over time how fibromyalgia has manifested, once in awhile I’ve pondered…how could there be one quick pill or one quick remedy? What one or two or even three pills, or remedy, could handle all things fibromyalgia? Could it fix my back pain one day, my side head pains the next, my chest pains the next, my walking corpse feeling another, my stabbing pains, my daily chronic fatigue, my near constant full body numbness, my periodical dizziness, my twitching, my memory issues, and on and on…a never-ending array of changing symptoms?

This has been a FULL BODY, SYSTEM WIDE thing going on here; it feels like it was a full body breakdown(!) and it’s taken a long, consistent, persistent, restoration of sorts to ever-so-gradually rebuild.

And while the symptoms are certainly full body, personally my fibromyalgia has very much always felt like a “brain thing” to me, right from the start…that is, it seems that it originates in my brain or at least, involves my brain to a great extent. As I’ve talked about in a previous post, over the years my initial instinct about that has only been reinforced…all the key things in the mix of things I find help with fibromyalgia DO have positive effects on the brain.

And if it truly is a “brain thing”, for any quick fix to work, this remedy would therefore be messing with my brain. So personally, and this is purely a personal decision, I’m not so sure I would go for it, even if a quick fix cure was supposedly discovered…not when doing tried and true regular healthy things has been working (well enough), slowly but surely.

And if there WAS some sort of quick fix for say, even the everyday symptoms, what if I’m dependent on this fix, and it is suddenly yanked out from underneath me through means beyond my control…say, a remedy I can no longer afford or is taken off the market? What then? I shudder to think of what would happen if my management of my fibromyalgia was propped up on something that was suddenly pulled out from underneath me. No, no-one can take away my “combat mode” that steadily controls my symptoms, makes me super healthy as a bonus and has gradually improved my fibromyalgia overall!

But don’t get me wrong…it’s not that I wouldn’t have initially liked some quick fix…it’s just that I never expected one.

And seventeen years later, with still no quick fix in sight, I’m pretty thankful I didn’t count on one. My initial return to “combat mode” has turned into a lifelong “health kick” essentially, that along with making my body as healthy as it can be, has kicked in so many more unexpected but necessary changes that have been imperative for not only functioning with fibromyalgia all along the way but actually improving over time as well. It’s turned into a restoration of sorts, of the underlying origins of my fibromyalgia I believe…a long slow process of rebuilding…imperceptibly slow like the minute hand of a clock…but unmistakable nevertheless…and now what I’m recently beginning to wonder (cross my fingers) maybe even recovery!

Yes, like so many things in life, there’s been no magic pill, just hard work.

And tackling fibromyalgia in this way, it sounds simple, maybe too simple…but it’s not…and it is.

It’s not simple because these regular healthy things that I do are producing FAR FAR MORE THAN THE REGULAR BENEFITS to me because they seem to be working on the UNDERLYING ISSUES AND ORIGINS of my fibromyalgia.

The best analogy I can think of is when someone has a “regular”‎ illness, say like a bad cold, they may take medication for the symptoms to feel relief and comfort (a decongestant, acetaminophen etc.) in the moment, however they must drink lots of fluids and get extra rest and sleep to actually TREAT the illness and HEAL their body. The key things are the things they are doing to actually treat the illness and heal their body, the fluids and sleep…not the medicines they are taking for the symptoms, those are just for comfort during the illness (while the fluids and sleep make us heal). If we just took medicines for the symptoms and didn’t treat the underlying illness, it wouldn’t work, we could get much more sick and likely would.

In the same way, over time, I’ve come to realize that my fibromyalgia is not a magical mysterious illness that requires me to be treating all these random and ever-changing symptoms in order to heal.

It’s not random, the symptoms are, but the underlying issues and origins of my fibromyalgia aren’t…they are the same few consistent things.. and these are what need to be treated.

And the simple part?

Well, it’s turned out, these healthy choices I’ve made…they seem to work on these underlying issues and origins…for many many reasons it seems…and they work really really well!

I’ve found that all the things that work for “regular” people, WORK FOR MY FIBROMYALGIA TOO, because as well as helping the symptoms for the most part, often they SEEM TO BE ABLE TO AFFECT THE UNDERLYING KEY ISSUES affecting my fibromyalgia.

The same exercises that benefit “regular” people benefit my body and brain too…and along with them my underlying issues affecting my fibromyalgia, stress and sleep. And sleep…the things I discovered long ago when I researched what impacts our sleep cycles to help one of my sons with an ongoing sleep issue…well, I’ve found they apply to and help me with my fibromyalgia as well, getting restorative sleep being a key underlying issue for my fibromyalgia. The same foods that are healthy for everyone, I’ve found are super beneficial for my fibromyalgia. And depression…I’ve found the same things I had always done to combat depression for twenty years before I had fibromyalgia, are still the same things I’ve needed to do with fibromyalgia, and furthermore, this helps me reduce stress, another key underlying issue. As for IBS…when I started with IBS a few years ago, I researched what anyone would do for IBS, then made some trial and error diet changes…and they worked, slowly, but surely, they worked.

My point is I really just tackle the issues as “regular” people would…no tricks, (okay, a few small ones in the department of how I think, to manage stress), no magic cures, no quick fixes.

Just a lifelong health kick! (I know, I know…insert eye roll on your behalf here!)

Okay, bear with me again, I know that can sound overwhelming. And I’ll admit it’s not easy, it’s tough…but frankly, having fibromyalgia, from what I can see, unfortunately we have only tough alternatives to choose from.

So generally, one thinks of a health kick as a healthy diet and exercise and either is a fantastic start. It’s where I started… I already ate relatively healthy, so I bumped up my exercise to be consistent again and over the years I became interested in finding more ways to eat even healthier…and I looked for other things to improve on and add into the mix as I realized I needed to, sleep being a key example as I talked about in a previous post, and then inevitably, the crucial issue of stress management became obvious as the other issues fell away.

But make no mistake, healthy routines are a slow-going approach to fibromyalgia. While they definitely were imperative in aiding me in functioning and coping all the way along, it took years to see overall long-lasting improvements and what I’m now at long last realizing may be in fact have been a slow rebuilding all along. But I didn’t do it just for my fibromyalgia; I would have been doing this anyways, to improve my quality of life and to keep depression at bay. I liked a healthy lifestyle and I persisted at it because I wanted to be healthier in the moment (even if it often took time to play out in my body as far as my fibromyalgia symptoms went).

And by the way, I’m not so sure someone else’s fibromyalgia journey has to be as long as mine has been. I could have done considerably better on improving my sleep habits much sooner (many years sooner!) than I did and that’s been a key, maybe THE key, healthy routine improvement I’ve made in all my seventeen years with fibromyalgia.

I’ve noticed that a lot of life ‎successes come from just consistently DOING the regular things that everyone knows are good to do, but many don’t do them (I wish I’d done them sooner with my sleep!). Yes, while fibromyalgia adds a whole new level of what often feels like insurmountable barriers to break through, experience has shown me that fibromyalgia is nevertheless no different.

But the good news is that the old standard tried and true have still worked!

No, far be it from me to be the one to dash someone’s hopes…no, hope is what I trade in. And that’s what I’m trying to get at here…once again…HOPE.

It’s not bad news because it may take some time. It’s good news because SOMETHING HAS WORKED!

Sure, it has definitely taken time…but these last seventeen years were going to pass by one way or the other. Where would I be now if I had waited for that cure or magic treatment…or pinned my hopes and invested my time on countless quick fixes…instead of putting my focus and time into consistently, steadily, pushing and dragging myself through my healthy routines, day after day, year after year, even decade after decade?

Maybe that cure or magic treatment IS still coming one day. Maybe it’s right around the corner…or conversely, I sometimes wonder…will it even be in my lifetime? And what could be wrong about working on rebuilding in the meantime (just in case)? Working on improving one’s health as best they can? It has served me well, so well that I don’t plan on changing a thing that I’m already doing…because looking forward I’m thinking (just in case again)…where do I want be in ten, twenty or even thirty years from now!?

But don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean I haven’t looked for things to help!! Absolutely I’ve done that…in a huge way…all the time…but for me, it’s been keeping my eyes open for ways to be healthier overall, to increase my energy level, to feel better along the way…

Yes, I’m sold! I’ve found I don’t need anyone but myself to do this, to battle my fibromyalgia… not my doctor…nor any specialists…I haven’t needed to try endless medications. No, I haven’t needed anyone else…it’s cost me relatively little to nothing, and it can’t be taken away from me! I have the power within me.

Yes, getting my mind off my fibromyalgia and focusing on my healthy life instead has been one of the best things I could have ever done‎.

At times others with fibromyalgia tell me, I’ve tried what you do and it didn’t work for me.

That’s fair, but what I would say to them is…you’ve only tried what I do if you’ve done what I do for seventeen years.

Because it changes over time and it doesn’t always feel like it’s working that great, from month to month, sometimes year to year. Sometimes it feels like it’s making me worse. But personally, as I said earlier, I was doing these things for other reasons as well, so I persisted through, no matter what, and now I’ve realized they were always working on the underlying origins of my fibromyalgia, the rebuilding.

And it takes doing it consistently over time that is key for rebuilding.

Because I’ve found it’s been evolving…it’s different after a year…it’s different after five years…it’s different after ten years…it’s far different after fifteen…and now especially after seventeen years. Rebuilding has been a hard fought for long term process…a short-term pain for long-term gain type of process…but a process of making good solid unmistakable steady endgame progress.

And I thank my lucky stars that I persisted.

If I hadn’t, I doubt I would have experienced that first distinct solid permanent improvement close to ten years in when I noticed I was embarking on a vacation with my family WITHOUT THE FEAR OF BEING ABLE TO KEEP UP WITH THE PACE of just a regular holiday with my family, for the first time in almost a decade!

If I hadn’t, I doubt I would have realized for the first time, at about twelve years in, as I drove home from a family vacation, that in my everyday life I was living with a CONSTANT, IMPERCEPTIBLE, THIN LAYER OF STRESS that had become such a part of me that I wasn’t even aware of it and that I NEEDED TO TACKLE IT for my fibromyalgia to continue to improve to the next level, as stress is such a key trigger for my symptoms.

If I hadn’t, I doubt that at about thirteen years in, I would have gradually noticed A DEFINING IMPROVEMENT IN MY COGNITIVE SKILLS as far as being able to competently tackle challenging “thinking” tasks again…I had truly thought that ship had sailed.

 If I hadn’t, I doubt that at about fourteen years in, and I guess it had happened so very gradually that I wasn’t noticing, I would have suddenly realized that MY CHRONIC FATIGUE WAS NOW LARGELY GONE!

If I hadn’t, I doubt that at over sixteen years in, I would be amazed to find out, after drastically overbooking a weekend far beyond my usual “fibromyalgia pace”, that I could now manage it just fine without “paying for it” at all, not even for one day afterwards!

If I hadn’t, what I know is real is that I doubt that as I was enjoying an outdoor concert a few weeks ago that as I stood there looking around and taking it all in, I had a quiet, very emotional and teary eyed few moments because I could feel that…

THIS WAS THE OLD ME THAT WAS THERE…

that was back…

and this was a first…in seventeen years.

“Just wondering, since I use your blog often, to get motivated and keep going, could you do some research and then report that sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream is also beneficial?”

I instantly chuckled…good one!…this “request” coming from my fellow fibromyalgia (comedian) twitter friend. Sounds great, ha ha…truly, I would if I could, I thought… but…I’m all about trying to keep fit, eat healthy, and basically, fighting the chronic fatigue continuous urge to stay in bed all day…EVERYTHING I DO is to try to have the energy to NOT need to spend the day in bed!

But then…I really thought about it, and…now, I haven’t done any research, exactly…but…I thought…I think I can make a case for that…yes, definitely!

“Sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream is also beneficial”…why not!?

So let me explain.

Having fibromyalgia for going on seventeen years now, I’ve entirely raised my family of three kids (which is pretty demanding all on its own without chronic illness!) while also working, and building a house, and so on and so on…through a slew of life circumstances, really…all while battling fibromyalgia. And considering only the chronic fatigue aspect of fibromyalgia alone (but there’s so much more!), well, the hours of the day to be fairly productive at anything have been maybe, one to two thirds of “regular” peoples’ days, and even that includes pushing through fatigue lots of the time. And well, the remaining hours that were not as productive…I was still pushing through the fatigue, trying hard to get things accomplished at whatever (often times snail) pace I could manage.

So, trying to keep up everything…while working with a reduced day of fairly to somewhat productive hours right off the bat…I pushed and dragged myself through many, many years continually just barely getting to the required work that needed to be done…and increasingly becoming more (and more!) behind on even that…weeks, months, even years…many things just never getting done any longer.

I was drowning in the drudgery of life chores…so often never getting to the fun in life, or if I did, I had no energy for it so I was pretty much just dragging myself through it, not always enjoying it so much but going through the motions to still somehow participate in my and my families’ lives .

I went through a lot of years like that, with all my energy having to go to those things that I needed to get done in life…the work. With my reduced productive hours, it’s the fun, extra things, that had to go, because well, those darn kids wanted to eat…and have clothes to wear…etc. etc.…just kidding, but you get the picture. My world got smaller and the majority of what was left in it was the necessary work because I was not going to sacrifice the kind of normal everyday family life I wanted my kids to have.

So with the crushing chronic fatigue (accompanied by a multitude of annoying to downright scary symptoms on the side), as I pushed and dragged myself around my house and through life getting the work done, the thought that would come to me at times was that old saying, that it feels like I’m WORKING MYSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE. That’s what it felt like…exactly.

WORKING MYSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE.

Now don’t get me wrong…I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my kids and I’ve still loved my life overall…I have no regrets…I’d do it all over again, exactly the same. I AM an optimist and in the big picture, I won’t allow fibromyalgia or anything else to take away my inner spirit and hope…but…I admit…I had my moments…really low mind-set moments…sometimes I WAS thinking…I’m working myself into an early grave…and, how am I going to do life like this (with fibromyalgia) for another forty years? (I know you know.)

Man, oh man, I needed a break!! (Maybe like…sitting in bed for a day!?)

AND come to think of it, I HAVE been of the work-hard-play-hard mentality my whole adult life, since university really. I’m a (happy-to-be) workaholic and for a workaholic, I’ve found sitting around doing nothing is about as “playing hard” as I can get. Does that make sense? My idea of “playing” these days, after almost seventeen years of pushing myself through the crushing chronic fatigue and myriad of other annoying to downright scary fibromyalgia symptoms, IS actually…doing nothing! That would be the ultimate “playing hard” break for me now.

I suppose it’s not too different than, what I used to consider my “mental health day”, when I worked in a fast paced high stress environment and every once in awhile I would spontaneously take an afternoon off work and just walk aimlessly around a mall, maybe shopping a little, maybe not, but just getting a change-up from the norm of everything I HAD to do, for a much needed break, a lift in my spirits…stress relief really.

This break from the norm…that’s where the power of it comes in for me.

As in, I’ve always been a big believer in what I think of as “the splurge”. If I’m doing something all the time, it becomes the norm, and it no longer gives me the fun break or thrill. I’m pretty conscious of this, of keeping things for a treat, something to look forward to, for anything in life really. I first learned to do this a long time ago, with my diet. If I’m eating ice-cream every day, which I would absolutely LOVE to do, it becomes my norm, not nearly as enjoyable as keeping it for my once a week “splurge” which, looking forward to it gives me the willpower to keep on the straight and narrow the rest of the week to NOT devour all the treats that I would surely love to eat. It motivates me because I’ve learned I enjoy the splurge completely (with no guilt) when it’s a hard earned and totally deserved reward treat…I don’t want to ruin the pure unadulterated delight of the “the splurge” by having it regularly. Does that make sense?

And this breaking from the norm or “the splurge” in some cases, it can be anything really, but I find it especially powerful and useful for me if it can be fairly easy trivial things…yes, FAIRLY EASY TRIVIAL THINGS. I feel that if I can learn to be happy about and excited about and enthused about and look forward to the little EASILY ATTAINABLE trivial things in life, then I will always be able to be happy. Life has it’s ups and downs, many beyond our control…we can’t guarantee we will always (or ever) be able to attain the big things, the riches, the trips, a certain lifestyle etc…so these things are a bonus to me (if I attain any at all), I don’t rely on them…I’m grateful I don’t NEED them to be happy.

And I find, having a busy life raising three kids, with all that battling fibromyalgia requires from me, the little trivial things have been THE EASIEST TO FIT IN TO AND MANAGE TO BE ABLE TO DO IN MY LIFE…things that I can easily do within the confines of my life, things that don’t cost much if anything so I  can always afford them, things I have the time to do, and especially (above everything else) things that don’t depend on anyone else so they can’t be taken away (and take away my sense of control over my happiness as fibromyalgia already seems to work overtime on trying to do).

So I love to get enthusiastic about and encourage myself to look forward to the small things in life, things that may seem like no big deal or trivial to others…THINGS THAT ARE EASY TO MAKE POSSIBLE. Really, I decide to be excited about my everyday life…because frankly, it’s just nicer to live life that way…and I build these little treats and “splurges” into it to help do that.

And I guess I’m lucky to think this way because these small things sure fit with the chronic illness life as I know it…I doubt I will be bungee jumping or sky diving ‎for fun, or for a “mental health day” for stress relief!

But hmm…I DO love ice-cream…and it DOES fit with “the splurge”.

AND my ultimate “playing hard” break WOULD be sitting around doing nothing.

So, yeah…sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream!? I’m on board! I can get behind this!!

How could that NOT be beneficial? I mean, really! As long as I EMBRACE IT and ENJOY IT, no feelings of shame or guilt or that I should be doing something else…and if it’s indeed a “splurge”…if it’s not everyday, this treat is hard earned…I will. And if it’s in moderation, of course…I’m all about moderation. I do things in moderation; I feel I can’t go (as) wrong that way overall. In any event, having fibromyalgia, I’ve found that too much lying around leads to more lethargy, sluggishness and fatigue for me, so it HAS to be in moderation for me.

Yes, as I said earlier, I’m (around-the-clock) all about trying to keep fit, eat healthy, and basically, fighting the chronic fatigue continuous urge to stay in bed all day.

But this is different…or it CAN be…if it’s in the spirit of “the splurge”. One thing I’ve particularly liked about being an adult and decades later, still delight in for some unknown reason…I can do whatever I want…I can eat a cookie before dinner and spoil my supper (sorry, Mom, but I do that now). Why, a few weeks ago, my kids and I, spontaneously, even had popcorn…just popcorn…for supper one night!

So yeah, sit in bed all day and eat a tub of ice cream…why not?!? Life is too short.

GO FOR IT! (not every day though!…and you know who you are!)

But knock yourself out…stay in bed…all day…get a tub of ice-cream…even the most decadent kind you can imagine…give yourself a break, a treat, “the splurge”…to help recharge…to regenerate…to boost your mind-set…to fuel your zest for life!

Do it…or whatever else you can dream up for your “mental health day”.

Because you’re battling the formidable fibromyalgia…you’re pushing and dragging yourself through every day, every hour, doing whatever you have to do in life…you DESERVE a break…you’ve EARNED a break…you NEED a break…YOU NEED SOME FUN!!

And what I know is real from close to seventeen years of living with fibromyalgia, without a doubt, no research needed, is that anything that gives me a break, is fun, is positive, lifts my spirits, boosts my mind-set…lowers my stress…will be good for my fibromyalgia too!

So, yeah…definitely. I’m not an expert, but from where I stand, I have to say that sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream looks pretty beneficial to me!

I’d go for it.

“So yeah, fibro fog…just another symptom…it won’t be slowing me down anytime soon.” I ended my previous post about fibro fog this way and I meant it.

And I said that whenever I realize I CAN do a lot about something, well, I feel so much better…I feel proactive and positive and even hopeful…I have some power.

And I’ve realized that my fibro fog HAS improved, in some real and significant ways…as I stated, “I have some definite ideas about why this may be…just maybe it’s not coincidental, maybe I’ve stumbled onto some things long ago that have helped my fibro fog not get as severe as others with fibromyalgia it seems, while also gradually leading to this remarkable improvement.”…this being the definite distinct improvement I’ve been amazed to notice in my ability to tackle high level thinking tasks again, as I detailed in my last post.

So as I ponder this while doing some quick online research, I notice that it’s fairly likely my fibro fog has improved because LIKE ALL MY OTHER SYMPTOMS, THEY ARE ALL AFFECTED BY THE SAME THINGS!

Yes, as I described in my last post, I HAVE been instinctively as well as intentionally, adapting to and compensating for my fibro fog specifically, as I go, during these past sixteen years with fibromyalgia. But it turns out, I’m discovering many things I have been doing to combat my fibromyalgia OVERALL all along, my “combat mode” as I like to think of it (which, as I’ve described in earlier posts, entails “doing anything I could do to feel as healthy as possible in every other way”), also benefit my fibro fog!

Go figure…it seems that helping our overall health…helps our brains too.

So let me explain.

Now I definitely am, in no way, whatsoever, an expert on “increasing cognitive ability”, “improving our memory”, “sharpening our mind” or “boosting brainpower”, however you want to say it, but when I do some quick online searches of these kinds of terms, I can find many lists of brain boosting tips with fairly consistent things on them and I find…guess what?…I do a lot of them!…and I’ve been doing them for a very long time now. Again, my “combat mode” mindset, whereby “I would try doing anything I could do to feel as healthy as possible in every other way” encompasses many, if not all, of them.

“Physical exercise”…yes, I know I keep harping on this, in other posts…but I found, is ALWAYS…if not at the top, very close to it…and specifically aerobic exercise, by my findings, is best. Yes, they say that regular exercise changes the brain to improve memory and thinking skills. So now…all we have to do is remember to exercise in the first place! No, just kidding…it’s much tougher than that…very tough to do, consistently…but now here’s another reason I’ll use to keep myself motivated to continue to keep dragging my hurting, fatigued, “walking corpse” (fibro) self down to my basement most mornings and get that workout started.

And “sleep” is right up there too…of course! I say “of course” because everyone knows how crucial sleep is for us…and because “of course” (sarcastically…it figures!) another top important thing is another one of the toughest things to do for those of us with fibromyalgia! Nevertheless, I notice (in my online search) that “research shows that sleep is necessary for memory consolidation, with the key memory-enhancing activity occurring during the deepest stages of sleep”. But please, again, I am not an expert, do your own online search of, say, maybe “memory consolidation and sleep” and see what you come up with.

I CAN say, though, that, when I look back, my defining improvement in my cognitive skills as far as being able to competently tackle challenging “thinking” tasks again DID seem to happen around the same time I was able to make huge strides in my sleep (leaving a good chunk of my chronic fatigue behind), which I’ve talked about in a previous post.

I see “keep stress in check” on many lists as well…which doesn’t surprise me at all. Given that experience has taught me that “stress is the pivotal factor that so much of my fibromyalgia hinges on”, in that it seems to be a major underlying trigger for most, if not ALL my symptoms…of course it affects my fibro fog symptoms then too. And I can totally see, on a daily basis, my fibro fog increasing and decreasing in direct proportion to my stress level…easily. So, definitely, as I’ve learned to work on ways to keep my stress level in check, of course it’s helped my fibro fog improve as well. (If I remember correctly (ha ha), even “regular” people get a little scatter brained when stressed!)

“Eat a brain-boosting diet to sharpen memory and focus.” That’s up there too and yes, I happen to have been doing that for years now too. Some of the habits and foods on the lists that I see, I already know well…limiting sugar, saturated and trans fats…eating Omega 3’s, fatty fish like salmon, ground flaxseed, fruits and vegetables, eggs, berries, broccoli, avocados, dark chocolate, nuts (especially walnuts), olive oil, yogurt, green tea, cranberry juice…I’ve been eating and drinking all of these “brain-boosting foods” plus more I’m sure, in my efforts to generally eat healthy to try to feel as good as possible overall.

And my top “brain boosting food”? It’s the walnuts, hands down. Awhile back I saw somewhere that walnuts are a top “brain food”. Interested in eating healthy, nuts were already a part of our diet, so I decided to throw walnuts into the mix of regular nuts that we ate, including for my three kids as well. We all started eating a small handful of walnuts each day and then I kind of forgot about it.

About a year and a half later, I was proudly thinking how thrilled I was that all three of my kids were doing extra amazing in school…I mean, incredible improvements…my two in high school, grades nine and twelve, had both just seen a roughly ten percent increase in their ENTIRE average for the school year, while my mid university son suddenly, that year, achieved the substantial increase in his ENTIRE average that he had been struggling with for some time, and needed to boost himself into another program.

I was thinking…this is amazing…these kind of increases…all in the same calendar year…and my kids were all at different education levels. What’s going on…is there something new in the water here or what? AND THEN IT DAWNED ON ME…THE WALNUTS!! Could it be? Honestly, we really don’t know…how could we?…but I’ll tell you, none of us wants to take the chance of stopping eating them! (And still to this day, many years later, my kids held those increases, even through extremely tough university programs…AND… they still eat walnuts!)

Now, who really knows if the walnuts have anything to do with it…though I do feel like I see a difference with them myself as well…but here’s the thing, what have I got to lose? I mean, eating walnuts is healthy, right? So, the worst that happens, is…I get healthier? And the best? I get smarter? Personally, I can’t argue with that logic! And it’s the same for all these other “brain boosting” foods…it’s a no-brainer for me (no pun intended!).

I also see “identify and treat (other) health problems” that may cause mental sluggishness, difficulty concentrating, and forgetfulness…more specifically, “depression” highlighted, on many lists. Personally, it’s a struggle I’m familiar with, as I’ve talked about in an earlier post. I managed to lift myself out of my depression many years ago, which could also be a contributing factor to my fibro fog improving as well.

“Have a laugh, be positive” is said to help as well. As I’ve also talked about in a previous post, “at some point, the correlation between being positive and fewer symptoms just became a given for me and I was always striving for ways to keep positive.“ I’ve been lucky in this respect, I’ve been raising three sons the entire sixteen years I’ve had fibromyalgia and while that’s been incredibly tough in so many ways, it’s also been a built-in sure-fire guarantee of lots of laughs and banter in my household. They’re grown now but I still have a couple loafing around here for a little longer, keeping my mental stimulation on its toes as I try to one-up their seemingly endless teasing remarks to me.

And yes, I see “get mental stimulation” and “build on new challenging skills” on the lists as well. I’ve always been an avid reader, here and there, wherever I can fit it in, mostly to learn, I like to learn. And as I’ve noticed my ability to take on real “thinking tasks” return, I became confident enough to tackle an online course recently. I was initially a little unsure of how it would go with respect to my fibro fog, but it went so well, I plan to take many more courses and keep challenging myself while building on my skills. Fibro fog…you won’t hold me back!

“So yeah, fibro fog…just another symptom…it won’t be slowing me down anytime soon.” Because I’ve realized there IS much I can do to combat it. (I have some power.)

And unbeknownst to me, I’ve been combatting it all along!…sure, with some specific instinctive and intentional things I’ve gradually learned to do to adapt and compensate on a daily basis (as I talked about in my last post)…but the rest, turns out, all these things I have been doing to try to be as healthy as I can overall to offset my fibromyalgia as much as possible, also benefit my fibro fog!

My fibro fog seems to be improving in a real and significant way over time. Yes, I still have lots of those annoying, frustrating and sometimes embarrassing memory things happening, but some real crucial cognitive abilities have returned, for some time now, so I’m thinking……hoping…they may be back to stay.

And I’m also thinking…I don’t believe that’s just by chance. Because, overall, ALL my symptoms are improving over time…oh so gradually…but undeniably…undoubtedly…improving.

Yes, I find that all my symptoms generally move together according to how well I’m managing the key mix of things that I’ve noticed, over time, affect my fibromyalgia. So it’s not surprising that my fibro fog (just another symptom…remember?) moves in direct correlation with these key things too…sleep, stress, exercise, diet, mindset to name some critical ones.

As I work on my overall health and gradually, ever so gradually, improve my fibromyalgia overall, my fibro fog is benefiting and improving as well.

So, yes, it seems that helping our overall health…helps our brains too!

And now that I’ve done some quick searches, of “increasing cognitive ability”, “improving our memory”, “sharpening our mind” or “boosting brainpower”, for this post, I see there is even MORE I can do. I see I could add “more thinking tasks” (we could always add more of those!), and there are more “brain boosting” (healthy) foods I can try, for starters. And why not? What’s the worst that can happen if I say, eat more avocados? And it doesn’t help my fibro fog? I get healthier?…that’s it? My cholesterol gets better? That’s the downside!?! Seems like another no-brainer to me (pun intended!).

But, by all means, do your own search and see what you can find…you may find more or different things than I’ve found…you may find something that works better for you.

For me though, I’m off, motivated again…I’ve found a few more things to help make me healthier and maybe, help my fibro fog in the mix as well…because improvement is always hopeful for me, a sign that we CAN impact it for the better…inspiring.

Could this “come back” totally?  Like with everything else, I’m an optimist…I’m always hopeful.

What I know is real is that much is unknown about fibromyalgia and when we look towards a future, that can feel scary, daunting, negative for sure…but I guess that’s one thing that I absolutely see as a positive.

Because it’s not known how much we can RECOVER as well.

Hard to believe I’ve written so many posts about fibromyalgia and still not written one about fibro fog…guess I forgot…ha ha.

Sorry, I have to joke and keep it light sometimes…it covers up the deep down, unsettling, vague feeling that gnaws at me…an uneasiness about the state of my mind…and what exactly my fibro fog means to its future.

And if you’re a “regular” person (who doesn’t have fibromyalgia)…STOP RIGHT NOW!…and don’t laugh and dismissively tell me, “Oh, I get that too, that happens lately, it’s old age.”

Because mine started over sixteen years ago…long before any old age(!)…but exactly when my fibromyalgia started!

The things you’re dealing with lately, I’ve been dealing with them  for coming up on two decades. (And speaking of old age, as I watch my eighty-six and ninety-year-old parents struggle with memory problems, it occurs to me that I’ve had a lot more in common with them in that department, than my own peers, who are just getting these issues “lately”.)

But I digress…I know others with fibromyalgia know exactly what I’m talking about…exactly!

But they may be surprised to know that, as uneasy as I’ve felt about my frustrating and worrisome fibro fog all these years, I’m starting to feel LESS UNEASY and MORE POSITIVE about it NOW more than ever.

So let me explain.

Yes, fibro fog IS dismaying…I’ve always had a sharp memory and I liked having a sharp memory. It has definitely been disappointing to lose some of that. Although I have to say, it does seem like it’s not the terribly important things that I forget, so that’s something to be grateful for.

But it’s annoying…so annoying! It seems like it’s much more of the regular things I used to just always remember, like which same four vegetables I’ve been cooking for Christmas dinner for over twenty years now, that are suddenly just “gone” from my head. Like, I’m not a fancy cook…I mean, how many easy-to-cook vegetables are there?…and I can’t remember the same four I’ve been cooking for twenty plus years now!? Annoying. (And a bit alarming too.)

Almost as annoying as the small day-to-day things…that my previous sharp memory ALWAYS knew…now, just gone…until someone mentions them again, often I remember, sometimes I still don’t. (Not to mention the items I misplace…although it IS good exercise running around my house looking for things!)

And tiresome, so often tiresome!…when a thought about something I was just going to do, just disappears from my head, often (luckily) only for a short time. It’s like it’s seemingly just floating out there for a few minutes…suddenly disconnected from the train of thought it was a part of. Oh, it always floats back in‎, usually within a few minutes, whether I continue trying to remember, or not…but it gets tiresome, waiting.

And when this same thing happens with a thought or word that I was just going to articulate to someone in the midst of a conversation…embarrassing at times, for sure…worse than when I can’t find the words to express the ideas swirling around in my head, during a conversation…that, I’m fairly good at covering up and just rolling with, and switching to the ideas I can find the words for. But not as bad as when my brain suddenly substitutes an entirely different word, unrelated in every way as far as I can tell, instead of the word I meant to say, in a sentence I am speaking to someone…this one is just plain unnerving(!)…very glad that one’s been a rare occurrence (and only when speaking to my kids, thankfully) and hasn’t happened in years.

But overall, just having to work much harder at being focused in general…I mean, I can be so easily distracted…if I let my guard down (which I work against, continually!). For someone who has always been so wired to be productive, this may be the most frustrating of all!

Yes, it’s all very frustrating, and I see many others with fibromyalgia say their fibro fog makes them feel stupid…and I can certainly understand that, but…in spite of all this…I’ve never felt that way. I just have a condition; I know I’m still intelligent. I am an intelligent person, I will always be an intelligent person. I’ve always separated the fibro fog memory thing from that. I won’t let it affect my self-esteem in that way.

Yeah, it’s just another symptom.

And living with fibro fog day to day…well, it’s aggravating and annoying for the most part, but I haven’t found it incapacitating, nor insurmountable… I think I’ve been just…well…adapting, I guess.

I mean, when I really think about it, I have often, instinctively I suppose, just started doing certain things over the years, in a determined effort to keep functioning as best I can. I’ve developed coping mechanisms for my fibro fog, to adapt, because I was still pushing through for the most part and “doing life” every day to raise my three kids. I’m sure there’s probably more, but just off the top of my head (my fibro head!), I can actually remember a few! (okay, it wasn’t off the top of my head…I had to think on it quite awhile!)

I mentioned earlier, that I have to keep my guard up, to try to keep focused. I’ve learned to make a concerted effort to try to be present in what I am doing…I focus on the details, and I try to keep my mind in the moment and on what I’m doing…so I don’t get distracted and/or so I will remember something.

And, oh yes…distractions. I will often cut down or cut out altogether, any distractions, when I really need to get something done, especially if I’m in a hurry. If it’s something at home, I turn the TV off, or maybe seclude myself somewhere away from the usual noise and banter of my household. If I can’t do that, I’ll sometimes put earphones in and listen to music while I work away, that seems to help. Sometimes I just put earplugs in, they block out enough noise and I just nod and smile and pretend I know what’s going on to anyone who tries to interrupt me, while I keep focused on the task at hand. (My sons are in their twenties now and the majority of things they say to me revolve around wanting food or poking fun at me, either of which I can do without hearing, while I nod and smile at them.)

Lately I’ve been setting a timer for ten-minute increments for those mundane chores that seem to just stretch out way too long when I’m tired and unfocused (every night!). Not a new concept or particularly inventive, but I have to say…it’s really working! I end up staying focused and working hard to try and beat the clock. If it’s a bit longer chore, I still set it for ten minutes and then reset it again for another ten and even another, until I get the task completed. I feel motivated at the thought of getting the chore done that quick and that makes me work hard to stay focused to do it. I guess I’m really just playing a little game with myself, but I like running with it and making it work.

And the last thing is a bit of a no-brainer…it’s sleep. Now I know we’re ALWAYS trying to get good sleep, but whenever I have an especially “thinking” day ahead of me, like working on a course or some business work, the night before I’ll make an extra effort to pay attention to the things I know help me to get a better night’s sleep. I find a significant change in how I can think and focus when I have a night of adequate sleep versus when I don’t. It’s honestly like night and day, the difference for me, in trying to get a “thinking” task done.

And speaking of night and day, I’ve learned by now to leave anything that requires much thought or decision making to the next day, once we’re getting into the evening. At a certain point, I’m usually just “done”, for thinking much about anything that night.

Which brings me to a key thing I wanted to say, and the reason I feel more optimistic now more than ever about my fibro fog.

These “thinking” tasks that I mentioned, well, there was a time, for many years actually, that I couldn’t trust that I could count on my cognitive powers to be intact enough, at all times, to be able to go back to the same career I had taken leave from to raise my kids. My career had required daily writing and reading through complicated legal documents (and negotiating and explaining them to others) and since the onset of fibromyalgia, I was not confident at all that I would still be able to do a competent job of that for my clients. I mean, I couldn’t be in a meeting with a client, going over the details of a complex offer with them, and suddenly forget the details! (that is, if I was able to still put a complex offer together!) So, I pursued an alternate career route, that gave me much more flexibility and wasn’t risking the serious legal liability of trying to do a job I no longer felt confident in having the full abilities to do.

But, here’s the thing…a few years ago…I suddenly started to realize…that I believe I could now confidently write and review those documents…I HAD IMPROVED!! My cognitive abilities were improving!!!

Which brings me to my next thought of course…WHY?

Why were my cognitive abilities improving (because this WAS a significant improvement!)…maybe even returning to their previous “sharper” level in some important respects? (I honestly thought that ship had sailed.)

Well, I have some definite ideas about why this may be…just maybe it’s not coincidental, maybe I’ve stumbled onto some things long ago that have helped my fibro fog not get as severe as others with fibromyalgia it seems, while also gradually leading to this remarkable improvement…and I’m going to get into this in my next blog post.

For now, I guess I realize that there is much I can do to live and function with fibro fog, lots by simply adapting, often instinctively, but with some strategic compensating as well.

And when there’s a lot I CAN do…well, the optimist that I am, I always feel so much better when I realize that. I don’t have to feel so uneasy and helpless anymore (or worried). No, I can feel proactive and positive and even hopeful.

And that’s enough for me.

What I know is real is I can replace that deep down unsettling vague uneasiness with solid hope, because I guess, like most everything with my fibromyalgia, for well over sixteen years now, I will continue to adapt and compensate and keep moving in my life.

So yeah, fibro fog…just another symptom…it won’t be slowing me down anytime soon.

I’ve seen it often, someone that has just received a fibromyalgia diagnosis, apprehensive and rightfully so…asking others…WHAT SHOULD I DO?

Having had fibromyalgia for over sixteen years now, I’ve been asked that myself. And fibromyalgia can be rough, incredibly rough, but I’m doing okay. So I usually try my best to convey to them the many things I’ve done that I believe have helped me, because I feel that is generally the kind of thing they are enquiring about.

BUT WHAT I’D REALLY LIKE TO SAY is that the first and foremost thing I’d wish for them…is that they would have…HOPE!

Definitely…HOPE!

I would say…grab onto it…hold onto it…guard it…don’t let it go.

And I would have the same wish for someone who has had fibromyalgia for sixteen years…or thirty years…or sixty years.

And I would say that I wouldn’t blame anyone with fibromyalgia if they had given up hope…but please don’t…for hope is the first thing you need.

So let me explain.

Now, why hope…first? Ahead of meds (or no meds) and exercise and diet and whatever else anyone might try?

Because above all and anything else…IT HAS SEEN ME THROUGH.

It has helped me to be determined, and to be motivated, and to be persistent, and upbeat, to do the hard work necessary to do all the things that I’ve needed to do…to succeed…yes, succeed, with fibromyalgia. It’s also my safeguard from feeling despair and helpless and depressed, all of which fibromyalgia seemingly work overtime on trying to make me feel. Fibromyalgia is absolutely unrelenting in this; the fibromyalgia battle, it seems, is as much mental as it is physical.

And I say succeed, because I definitely feel I am succeeding, on some level (the most important level!), every day, no matter what my physical condition has been, if I can stare down fibromyalgia for over sixteen years now…and still remain hopeful.

Because personally, if I have hope, I already feel, that I have it all, that I’ve succeeded. It’s the thing I need, first, foremost and when it comes right down to it, ONLY.

I know I’ll be alright if I have hope. Hope is my starting point.

I say it’s all I need, and I mean it, but having it has led to so much more…SO much more. Having hope has fuelled my stubborn determination to keep functioning…it’s fuelled my undaunted motivation to figure out how to keep functioning…and it’s fuelled my unrelenting persistence to keep doing the things I’ve discovered that help me to keep functioning. Having hope has propelled me forward through all of this. And it’s working! I’ve not only managed to keep functioning…I’ve been very gradually…steadily…and unmistakably…IMPROVING…over the years. Thanks to hope.

And the beauty of hope is, I can get it at any time, at no cost, without any help from anyone else. I’ve talked about it before…I simply change my thinking…for my hope comes from within.‎

And the beauty of hope is that no matter how long I’ve had fibromyalgia…and no matter what twists and turns my fibromyalgia has taken (because, well…my major trigger, stress, is not fully in my control)‎…and it has taken some real downturns (flares) and long setbacks (years)…at times threatening to beat down my hope…I can always RESET (or revive) my hope.

And the thought that always helps me “reset” my hope? Well, I’ve been around long enough to notice that life can always be changed in an instant. Yes, I know, sometimes for the worse, but I’ve seen far more times when I can be struggling along trying to make something in my life improve and it seems like nothing’s going to change…but I persist…until…suddenly, IT DOES…and then…I’m off and on my way again and everything’s looking better now.

Remembering this…that positive change could come any time, in an instant…always revives and “resets” my hope…and I hang in a little longer.

Yes, for sure I don’t always come by hope naturally, so I work on cultivating it. Whenever I realize I need to get a bit of hope back in my life…that I’ve slipped a bit…that I need to CHANGE WHAT I THINK…I give myself a shake…maybe I look at the bigger picture of life…I find some (any) different way to look at it that will lead me to a different way to think about it…a more positive way…a more hopeful way…and there(!)…that’s where I want to be.

I find hope somewhere…ANYWHERE. Personally…I HAVE TO HAVE HOPE!

I always want to have hope.

I strive for it, every minute of every day. I find it in things I’m doing, things I’m happy about for others around me, good news in the world, in the sunshine, in the rain (it saved my life a long time ago), in the stars. ‎Hope in anything, even small things, especially small things! Because that’s often all that’s happening in my day to day life, small things. So I’ve learned to find my hope in them. And, personally,‎ the endorphins I get from my aerobic workouts, always put me on a natural high…hope…I feel super hopeful then!

But one thing I want to be clear about is that when I say I need hope to battle my fibromyalgia, I don’t mean hope that I’m going to be cured of fibromyalgia.

Yes, I’ve had fibromyalgia for over sixteen years now, and I still (more than ever!) believe there’s much to be hopeful about with respect to my fibromyalgia. But, no, I definitely don’t tie my hope to how my fibromyalgia is.

Because if I did that, my hope would decrease (even plummet!) when, inevitably, there is a rough time or a setback (a flare)‎, as happens from time to time with fibromyalgia (sometimes, much of the time!). In a rough time, I need my hope more than ever(!), to be my STARTING POINT, to give me the determination, to give me the motivation, to give me the internal strength, and the persistence, to pull myself back up again…to keep functioning.

What I know is real is my hope has to be about life. Because that transcends fibromyalgia, it transcends everything. If I have hope about life…yes, it carries over to hope about fibromyalgia, but it doesn’t depend on it…it’s much bigger than that.

If I have hope about life…I can face anything.

So I wish hope for others…I wish it for you if you have just received a fibromyalgia diagnosis…I wish it for you if you’ve had fibromyalgia for sixty years! I wish you the life, that hope sustains.

Yes, hope is my starting point…it’s the first thing I need.

I’ve been competent for as long as I can remember.

And I’ve been seen as competent for as long as I can remember.

And I’m still seen as competent…in every area of my life…EXCEPT ONE…it seems…

That I have fibromyalgia.

So let me explain.

I was competent enough to know when I had broken bones. I was competent enough to know when I should seek consultations resulting in advised surgery for a muscle hernia…for required surgery for an ovarian cyst…for surgery to diagnose‎ severe chronic endometriosis…and recommended surgery to remove it. I was competent enough to guide my family of five through navigating countless ‎health situations including some serious medical crises for well over three decades.

For competent is defined as “having the necessary ability, knowledge, or skill to do something successfully” and I’ve had the ability, knowledge and skill to make good judgement calls, successfully, on ALL these health and medical situations for well over three decades now.

So I am left wondering…why then, when it comes to my fibromyalgia…does it seem I suddenly become incompetent, according to others…a woman seeking attention…making up things…unable to tell what’s real and what’s not, regarding my health?

Why then, am I seen as not competent enough NOW, to know that there is seriously something wrong with me physically, in the way that my brain and/or body is functioning? Of course, I can’t know the cause, or where exactly it originates, but I KNOW SOMETHING’S DIFFERENT…SOMETHING’S WRONG. I knew it all those other times with all those other health situations that I’ve made the right call on for myself and my family (and continue to make the right calls on!) …and I know it now. I knew it sixteen years ago with my first vague fibromyalgia symptoms and I’ve known it every day for sixteen years since…AND I STILL KNOW IT NOW.

But it seems there’s a stigma attached to fibromyalgia; it seems the question “Is fibromyalgia real?” hangs over me (and everyone else suffering from it) in the eyes of many others. And honestly, it just gets too ridiculous for me to even dignify it with a response anymore!

But I see it. I see it in the changing expression on the face of someone that I venture to offer this private information about myself to. I see it when a health care professional suddenly backs off taking my health concern seriously when I disclose that I have fibromyalgia. I see it when a paramedic gives a knowing glance at their partner upon hearing that I have fibromyalgia.

I see it.

And I can’t lie. It is often frustrating, sometimes infuriating, but most of all…insulting…extremely insulting.

Because…I’m still as competent as I’ve EVER been.

After sixteen years of what I’ve been through…and endured…persevering through battling fibromyalgia, day in, day out…no, I’m MORE competent than ever. Because, as a matter of fact, it takes incredible competence to master life with fibromyalgia!

Yes, it takes incredible competence to master life with fibromyalgia.

I’ve had to pull out all the stops…use all the ability, knowledge, and skill I have…to figure out how to successfully function in my every day life…every hour of every day for sixteen years now. And when I’m not so successful at times, and I feel I’m totally at a loss (done!), as inevitably happens with the excruciatingly difficult illness that is fibromyalgia, then I need to dig deeper and discover some new reserve of even more competence to pull myself back up again.

I’ve had to slowly and painstakingly, on my own, through extraordinarily slow trial and error, hone my ability to figure out how fibromyalgia works…what helps it and what hurts it…by constantly assessing the symptoms and their potential causes…while at the same time, continually seeking out and gaining the knowledge to deal with these multitude of difficult, ever changing and ambiguous symptoms as they appear…daily…even hourly…still, all on my own.

I mean, the working knowledge I now have about all sorts of issues…things that can affect experiencing pain, ways to battle fatigue, sleep issues (especially restorative sleep), benefits of exercise (including many less obvious ones), tips for a healthy diet (including many specific targeted foods), eating for IBS, the tremendous effects of stress on us, fighting chronic illness without ongoing medications, battling depression, harnessing our mental power in many ways (and the value of mental power in battling illness!), dealing with vertigo, numbness and a whole host of other unlimited number of ever changing symptoms.

Now, I don’t pretend to be an expert on any of these, far from it, but it dawns on me that I have built up a wealth of information from fighting fibromyalgia for sixteen years now, when I’m at a social event and I hear “regular” people start talking about what to do about their aches and pains or being unable to sleep, tired and overloaded, or trying to discipline themselves to eat healthier, exercise, deal with IBS, deal with stress, vertigo…etc. etc…and when I wish to, I can certainly competently add to the conversation. Having fibromyalgia over the last sixteen years, I’ve tackled all of these (plus more)!

So yes, I feel more competent than ever!

It’s unbelievable how skilled one needs to become to try to get anything at all done in the face of almost constant crushing fatigue while experiencing any combination of a whole myriad of downright scary to uncomfortable or annoying symptoms.

I need to be ON MY GAME more than ever; I need to be SUPER competent at walking the tightrope wire of managing fibromyalgia. For example, I can’t afford more than half a glass of wine with dinner, or good chance I’d be fast asleep on the couch all evening instead of helping my kids with something or getting work or chores done for the next day. But I can’t have a coffee either, for I may not sleep a wink all night, possibly setting off a vicious circle of fibromyalgia symptoms, (a flare), that could last days, weeks, or even quite possibly months.  I need to persist at exercise four to five early mornings a week to help manage my symptoms and help keep me positive (holding off depression), even though pretty much every morning my body aches all over and feels totally immoveable, “the block” (as best I can describe it), from constant chronic fatigue.

Yes, if it’s not competence…at so many things…to have the ability to keep getting up…and dragging myself through pretty much everything…day after day, year after year, even decade after decade‎…while walking this fibromyalgia tightrope wire…to continue to accomplish what I need and want to do in life…I don’t know what it is.

And maybe the most important ability I’ve had to develop is the ability to keep my MENTAL game on…as much of the time as I can…made especially difficult in the face of “fibro fog” and chronic fatigue…because I’ve learned that I need to stay focused and disciplined so I am able to keep doing everything that helps me to function (exercise, good diet and good sleep) while also trying to stay positive to help reduce stress, which I’ve slowly realized to be the major trigger of my symptoms.

So I’ve learned all sorts of ways to keep my mental game on…I’ve learned that I can change what I think and that I become what I say.  I’ve learned to “minimize it” (fibromyalgia), to live in “deliberate denial”, and to “fake it ‘til I make it”, all of which play parts in helping to keep me afloat.

And I’ve certainly become more competent than ever to navigate my health care now, because so many of my fibromyalgia symptoms can be symptoms of other serious and ominous ailments too. I need to be skilled and knowledgeable to make the right call of when to seek medical aid and then I need to have the ability to convey my health situation in a way that I am taken seriously by the health practitioners whom I depend on (for I have fibromyalgia).

‎So yes, I’ve had to use and develop MORE SKILLS, ABILITY and KNOWLEDGE these last sixteen years with fibromyalgia than ever before.

No, don’t look to me for incompetence…MY competence is fairly intact.

And honestly, knowing that, is enough for me.

I learned a long time ago that life is too short. I just have no room in me for holding onto any negative stuff. Period. That’s not who I want to be. And it feels so much lighter to just let it go. Gone. I need to lift myself above it, not get invested in things I can’t control (that’s a recipe for stress), stay positive, deal in things I CAN control.

I can’t control all that ignorance about fibromyalgia, I need to keep my focus on my own mental game, my own positiveness and “what I know IS real”. I won’t allow others to shake my confidence; I have a much graver, more daunting battle to fight, than fighting them.

So I keep and harness my power…I don’t let it seep out in negative emotions brought on by the misinformed ignorance of others. No, I won’t be frustrated, infuriated or insulted anymore. Instead, I CAN change how I think about them…instead of frustrated, maybe I’ll feel sorry for them for their ignorance, and small mindedness in some cases. It’s (really) their problem, not mine.

I can’t control how others think or what they do or what they say. But I CAN choose how I think and how I conduct myself and what I do with my life.

And what I know is real is I CAN continue to be a competent steady advocate for myself and my fibromyalgia, and in doing so…an advocate for all of those with fibromyalgia.

Each one of us with fibromyalgia, if we stand tall, if we continue to advocate for ourselves, we are advocating for each other as well…and I believe we will stand the test of time.

We have to…we aren’t going anywhere.

‎ ‎

I keep seeing these posts…they go something like, “Ten Things I Wish I Knew About Fibromyalgia When I Was First Diagnosed”.

I can’t deny…I know these posts have their merits…they are invaluable in fact…I mean, my entire blog to date is pretty much one big “things I wish I knew about fibromyalgia when I was first diagnosed”. Like others, I’m trying to pass on all this knowledge I’ve learned and (hopefully) wisdom I’ve gained, to others with fibromyalgia so that they may improve as I have, possibly even faster!

In spite of all this, I have to say I’m kind of glad I DIDN’T know many things about fibromyalgia. 

So let me explain.

First of all…WHY didn’t I know many things about fibromyalgia? Well, initially it was because of circumstances; I was waiting for a diagnosis, already starting to battle alarming symptoms of whatever new “condition” I was living with, to be able to keep functioning in my very demanding life, guessing (as doctors did) that it was likely MS. I’d barely heard of fibromyalgia, much less anything about it.

Then it became more by design as, by the time I finally got my fibromyalgia diagnosis, the things I was already doing to battle my new “condition”…were working. I had resurrected my “combat mode”, devised years earlier to battle endometriosis, whereby “I would try doing anything I could do to feel as healthy as possible in every other way”. And it was working! And I found I needed to stay very mentally focused to remain disciplined enough to continue to do these things that were helping me, amid the onslaught of frightening fibromyalgia symptoms and devastating chronic fatigue.

So…I got my diagnosis…my pamphlet about fibromyalgia from that doctor…and I went home. I think I thought I would ask for help when I needed some, but that time never came. I kept finding my own strategies and they kept working well enough to keep functioning and keep living my life.

And I worked hard to keep my mental focus on the things that I was doing that I could tell were helping me. Outside of an inspiring book about fibromyalgia that I read early on, I kind of kept blinders on to most things fibromyalgia. I didn’t want to dwell on it, I didn’t want to be “sick”, I wanted to “minimize it”, I kept the focus on the healthy things I now needed to do (“combat mode”) and the rest of my life…raising my young family, working on our business, whatever else was going on, “deliberate denial” is how I thought of it…my focus was on almost anything BUT fibromyalgia.

So I didn’t know many things about fibromyalgia when I was first diagnosed…AND I’M GLAD.

I’m glad I didn’t know I was supposed to “take all these medications” that I’ve gradually become remotely aware of and I now see people tweeting about. I might never have tried to battle fibromyalgia without using medications…and found out that I could…just fine.

I’m glad I didn’t know I “wouldn’t be able to exercise” as many say, especially not any high impact strenuous exercise or resistance training. I might never have climbed on my treadmill that first time, when I felt totally crappy…lethargic, almost immovable really, kind of numb in some areas, my head didn’t feel right, almost dizzy…and found that it helped! High impact strenuous exercise helped immediately that day and in the fifteen years since then, it, along with resistance training, has continued to be a key tool in my fight against fibromyalgia, often helping immediately, sometimes just keeping my general fitness and mood in functional mode.

I’m glad I didn’t know I “wouldn’t be able to get restorative sleep“. I may never have tried to apply all the knowledge about getting good sleep that I had gleaned over the years through research in my efforts to help my son with a sleep issue, to myself…and found that this learned sleep knowledge would help me to get fairly good sleep too.

I’m glad I didn’t know that my “diet likely wouldn’t make any difference” with my fibromyalgia as some declare. I may never have made such a persistent effort to continue to eat so healthy…and found that eating healthy does increase my overall sense of well-being to the point that it definitely seems to increase the quality of my life with fibromyalgia.

I’m glad I didn’t know I “would have to pace myself right out of a life”. I might not have pushed so hard to continue with my life and (yes, with many trial and error caused flares, for sure!) learned where the delicate balance between pacing and pushing is for myself so that I could still push to a degree to function and keep moving forward in my life.

I’m glad I didn’t know I would “have to stay in bed to recover from flares“. I may never have determinedly persisted at going on with regular life and therefore learned how crucial it was to keep exercising…to keep sleeping a regular amount (with a little extra here and there)…to keep on the move and help keep my positive gaze outward on living my life…and found that in doing all these it helped me to get through flares in a way that works well for me and helps in my long unwavering battle with fibromyalgia.

I’m glad I didn’t know that “thinking positively wouldn’t help my fibromyalgia”.  I may not have made such an effort to devise all these ways to change my thinking to be positive…and found that being positive (and reducing depression) absolutely DOES help my fibromyalgia because it helps me to reduce stress which I’ve slowly discovered is THE pivotol factor that so much of my fibromyalgia hinges on.

And I’m SO (beyond anything else!) glad I didn’t know these “fibromyalgia stages” that I would go through whereby “my life would gradually deteriorate to almost nothing”. Because…what would be the point of trying all these things I’ve tried…if there’s no hope?

What would be the point?

IF THERE’S NO HOPE.

I may never have tried any(!) of these things that have absolutely ended up being the sole reasons I have been able to keep functioning in my busy demanding life for over fifteen years with fibromyalgia now. And I’m not only functioning…I’m gradually improving…slowly, steadily, but unmistakably…improving!

In fact, when I learned that fibromyalgia was NOT degenerative and that I COULD actually improve (from that inspiring book so long ago), that was THE single most inspiring and game changing moment of my entire fifteen years with fibromyalgia. (It’s the one thing I’m glad I DID know!)

So I’m glad I didn’t know many of these things about fibromyalgia.

I’ve charted my own path. It’s been one with blinders on, to a certain degree, really to all the negative…I’ve stayed open to the positive and the inspiring stories…which leads me to my last thing I’m glad I didn’t know about fibromyalgia.

I’m glad I didn’t know (and I still don’t know!) that I “couldn’t recover or be cured”. Now, I’m not expecting it…I’m just trying to live my best life.

But I think there’s something to be said for having an optimistic ignorance of our SUPPOSED fibromyalgia fate…in other words…hope.

Yes…hope.

It leads me to try things that I may not have otherwise…and what I know is real…so far, it’s working out just fine.

‎

There is hands down absolutely no doubt that my fibromyalgia has been working AGAINST me…EVERY step of the way…for over fifteen years now…the devastating chronic fatigue…the random and incapacitating pain…the unpredictable and alarming symptoms…it’s an overwhelming, dismaying and formidable opponent to be working against EVERY hour of EVERY day and EVERY night.

I’ve had fibromyalgia all these years. That’s just the hand I’ve been dealt.

But I tackled it a long time ago, right from the start really, in a way that’s made it work FOR me as well.

So let me explain.

So I know this sounds inconceivable to some, unbelievable to many, that fibromyalgia could work FOR anyone…in ANY way…whatsoever. But I guess it’s just that I’m always determined to make the best of a bad situation…and to think outside the box maybe…and to question WHY do I HAVE TO do things a certain way? WHY do I have to “take this lying down”? (literally, in the case of fibromyalgia!)

No, all those years ago when I was first trying to come to terms with my new fibromyalgia reality, I wasn’t going down without a fight. I would combat it; I would “minimize it”. I would even USE it.

I mean, if I was going to be stuck with this fibromyalgia thing, I would make it work FOR me too!

Of course when I started out on this path, like everyone with fibromyalgia I would imagine, I was just trying to be able to function in my every day busy life, to keep my head above water when I felt like I was drowning in the vicious circles of fibromyalgia.  And I needed to figure out a way to function FAST. I was sinking under the pressure and stress of managing the construction of our new home while raising a busy young family, as fibromyalgia suddenly and swiftly took over my body.

So, as I’ve written about in earlier posts, it was both a relief and a source of strength when I remembered my “combat mode” of my earlier endometriosis days…I would do everything I could do to feel as healthy as possible. I would work on the things I COULD control…I would increase my overall healthiness to try to tip the scales in favour of increasing my feeling of well-being and hopefully that would help minimize the effects of my fibromyalgia on my life…I guess, trying to make the good outweigh the bad as much as possible.

There WAS something I could do.

And it helped…almost immediately…I was able to feel like I had some control over managing my symptoms, probably partly due to the actual changes and partly due to the pro-active and positive “combat mode” mind-set I had now.

And the actual changes? Well, things that started out as voluntary…like exercise, eating healthier (and healthier), making changes to get better sleep to name a few…THEY WORKED!…and they worked well…so, without any medications to help me…these healthy lifestyle choices quickly became a necessity for me to be able to keep functioning in my life…really, these lifestyle choices ARE my “meds”…if I don’t do them (still to this day), my fibromyalgia is off the rails pretty quickly.

And I must confess, I like being healthy. I DO want to be fit and healthy. I did even before I got fibromyalgia.

So I USE MY FIBROMYALGIA. (Why not?)

I use it as my reason to make myself do things I feel I should be doing anyways.

If I must have this fibromyalgia thing, I’m going to get something out of it…I’m going to make it work FOR me!

So I let my fibromyalgia be my reason…that fuels my willpower…to continue to do all these healthy things…day after day, week after week, month after month, year after year…even decade after decade.

Because, I don’t know about anyone else, but it takes me a LOT of willpower to have the discipline to continue to workout and eat healthy and work on my sleep, and so on, and so on. I’ll take any reason and any motivation I can get!

And now, fifteen years later, after all these years of working on doing everything I can to feel as healthy as possible…well…I’m pretty healthy! I mean, I’ve said it before, and I know it sounds odd, but I’ve ‎ended up so much healthier for having had endometriosis earlier in my life and now fibromyalgia, because of the way I’ve went about combatting them, using a healthy lifestyle as my “med” of choice.

Now, I’m talking big picture, overall health…good blood pressure, good cholesterol, healthy weight, physically fit, getting proper sleep…when I think about it, THESE ARE SIDE EFFECTS I CAN LIVE WITH!!

With a healthy lifestyle as my “med” of choice…definitely, THESE ARE SIDE EFFECTS I CAN LIVE WITH!!

Yes, I’m the picture of health. Of course, having fibromyalgia, I don’t always FEEL that way, but I feel a lot closer to it. And living with fibromyalgia and doing all these healthy things, that was the whole point of it in the first place…TO FEEL AS GOOD AS POSSIBLE TO BE ABLE TO FUNCTION IN MY LIFE. All these other (great) health benefits are my bonus side effects from my chosen “med” and as I get older, and my longevity crosses my mind here and there, they become increasingly important to me and my overall health.

When I initially started this to help live with endometriosis, back in my 20’s, and then resumed it to help live with fibromyalgia fifteen years ago, that was the furthest thing from my mind. I was just trying to keep my head above water, to feel better day to day, to be able to function in my very busy and demanding every day life.

Well, I’ve not only been functioning throughout the last fifteen years with fibromyalgia…I’m gradually improving…slowly, steadily, but unmistakably…improving.

So, yes, fibromyalgia is rough, devastatingly rough, but what I know is real is that I have to make it work FOR me in some way…I just have to…I have to make something good come out of it.

I won’t let it be all negative.

I just won’t.