It’s An INCREDIBLY STRONG Mind Over EXCRUCIATINGLY DIFFICULT (REAL!) Matter!…Mind-set and Fibromyalgia V

So you have fibromyalgia and maybe you’ve been told, “It’s mind over‎ matter”.

Now, I haven’t had this happen myself, but I’ve heard of it often enough and I’ve seen the common infuriated indignant response…“We can’t THINK our way better, it’s not ALL in our heads!”

And I’m absolutely certain that may very well have been the response I might have snapped back had I been given the chance!

Until recently…because as I’ve been pondering my last fifteen years of experience with fibromyalgia to try to write helpful blog posts for others, I’ve come to see that “mind over matter” claim A LITTLE DIFFERENTLY.

So let me explain.

First of all, I’ll agree, no one with fibromyalgia ever wants to be told this by anyone…I certainly don’t. It feels callous, and it feels like my fibromyalgia is not being taken seriously. (Especially if this advice comes from a doctor, as I’ve heard has been the experience of some…I am usually looking for something more than being told, essentially, to have a little willpower, from my doctor!)

But, I’ve now written countless blog posts in which I continually and consistently keep coming back to the crucial importance of my mind-set in my long, determined and unwavering battle with fibromyalgia. I’ve written about “minimizing it” and about changing what I think to live in “deliberate denial”, to help me to be more positive and to “fake it ‘til I make it”…all things that help my mind-set. I’ve written about how I’ve learned that I become what I say and how I work hard on ways to reduce stress and not become depressed.

I can’t deny that the power of my mind and my ability (and sheer will!) to think in certain ways and use that thinking to help overcome my physical circumstances is, yes, absolutely critical to my management of my fibromyalgia.

And when I look up the definition of “mind over matter”, it is, as I suspected, “the use of willpower to overcome physical problems”. It’s not the same as saying “it’s all in your head” which we all know means “not substantial or real; having been imagined or invented” (and we very well know, that IS what some intend to say).

But…it’s not the same at all.

No, mind over matter for me, with respect to my fibromyalgia, is about garnering all the sheer willpower I can, to live my life the best I can in the face of constant crushing chronic fatigue perpetually accompanied by a myriad of unwanted physical symptoms that range anywhere from uncomfortable and annoying to downright scary. (It has absolutely nothing to do with being imagined or invented!)

I mean, in the face of all this, if I’m going to do ANYTHING at all, doesn’t it HAVE to be mind over matter!?!

If not mind over matter, how do I get out of bed every morning? How do I get my stiff, achy, painful body shifted in my bed enough to sit up, then push myself to standing and try to get my footing steady enough to walk across my room to start my day?

If not mind over‎ matter, how do I march (or drag) my still fatigued and utterly unwilling body down to my workout room in my basement early most weekday mornings to climb on my treadmill to start (and persist through) my much-needed workout? And how do I refuse to quit part way through, no matter how lethargic…and stiff…and painful…my body feels?

If not mind over‎ matter, how do I alternately push and drag myself through seemingly endlessly long days of my every day life, often running on empty from chronic exhaustion, especially when magnified by a night (or more) of poor sleep? And every time it happens, how do I get through another entire day with the ghastly “walking corpse” feeling that inevitably accompanies those extra low sleep days?

If not mind over matter, how do I double down and continue with my life plans and obligations and commitments the best I can while I push through flare ups for days, weeks or even months on end, when my fibromyalgia is at it’s dreaded, scariest and most excruciatingly-difficult-in-so-many-ways, worst?

If not mind over matter, how do I continue to be positive and continue to think in constructive ways as best I can throughout all of this?

I can’t do it…I simply can’t do life with fibromyalgia…if it’s not mind over matter.

Because it’s ALL mind over matter(!!) to me…it’s ALL using my willpower to overcome my physical problems…my INCREDIBLY STRONG willpower over my EXCRUCIATINGLY DIFFICULT fibromyalgia physical problems, that is!

When it’s not mind over matter for me, well…that’s the times I’m not doing as well…that’s the times I’m losing a battle here or there. And for sure, that happens sometimes…who can conjure up this amount of willpower 24/7? Like everyone I suppose, I have my high willpower days and my low willpower days…but even my low willpower days involve a certain amount of willpower needed because my fibromyalgia doesn’t take a break…so I try not to let my willpower either (if I want or need to get anything at all done!).

Yes, if I’m going to try to function in my every day life with fibromyalgia, it simply HAS to be mind over matter. I HAVE to draw on every bit of willpower I can summon, day in day out, to do, pretty much, most things…I have to keep my “willpower mind” strongly focused and fixed on my goals of what I want to get accomplished. Unless I have time for a nap (which I definitely do, here and there), I can’t even BEGIN to think of what I FEEL like doing (lying down!)…I just can’t let my mind go there. I can’t START to think that lying down is an option when I am utterly exhausted and/or in pain and I need to get some work done or workout or do pretty much anything…I can’t let it be a possibility…or forget it…I’m dead in the water…nothing gets done.

Like an athlete running a marathon, their body worn out and hurting, their energy expending (not unlike fibromyalgia…every day!), it’s their mental game that keeps them going…mind over matter…to the finish. They can’t think about quitting…it can’t be an option.

So by now, after fifteen years of this “drill”, I just switch my mind to my almost automatic self-programmed mind over matter state, when I NEED to…when I HAVE to get out of bed and start my day…when I WANT and NEED to complete my workout because it helps my fibromyalgia and helps keep me positive…when I HAVE to fulfill a day of obligations and commitments…even when I just WANT to have a fun day or a day to do my own thing (because I don’t want to give up those!).

So if my willpower falters in the face of my fibromyalgia physical problems…if my mind even starts to go there and think there’s another option, that there’s an option to do what I FEEL like doing (lying down!), I try hard to just stop it dead in its tracks….shut it down…right away…or my plans will be a goner!

And it’s great when my willpower gets rewarded; it helps me to be positive which helps me to be motivated to summon more willpower. Like when I persist and manage to complete a particularly tough workout…I did it! My energy level is now better to face the day and my morning aches and stiffness are largely gone. I managed to keep up my workout schedule…that’s great, for my fibromyalgia and because I am trying to maintain a level of fitness for myself. And I logged a personal success to start the day…something tough I conquered…it feels good!…a sense of accomplishment instead of the failure I know I surely would have felt if I had copped out…which helps me to have even more willpower (that I will need!) to tackle the rest of my day.

Yes, I’ve come to feel that it definitely is TOTALLY mind over matter for me! It’s my strength of mind that has and continues to make me‎ do ANYTHING, these last fifteen years that I’ve lived with fibromyalgia…my body follows.

It’s on my own power…my own steam…my own willpower.

And if I wasn’t strong minded before I had fibromyalgia, I certainly have become that more than ever now. And because my mind is getting stronger and stronger at this “mind over matter” game over the years, the “matter” feels like it’s getting less and less difficult. In fact, I’m so strong on “mind over matter” by now, that much of the time I don’t think I even notice many of the aches and pains and various symptoms by now.

So now that I’ve thought this through for awhile now, I won’t be insulted or even indignant anymore, if someone should tell me that dealing with fibromyalgia is really a case of “mind over matter”, but I think I may just amend it a bit for them.

I think I’ll be saying, “Yes, you bet it’s mind over matter…it’s an INCREDIBLY STRONG mind over EXCRUCIATINGLY DIFFICULT (REAL!) matter!!”

And what I know is real, like the athlete running the marathon, my mental game, my incredibly strong mind, IS getting me somewhere.

And I won’t be quitting.

And for anyone else finding themselves in this fibromyalgia marathon…well, like any marathon…I’m guessing there’s room for a lot of finishers…like maybe you.