“Just wondering, since I use your blog often, to get motivated and keep going, could you do some research and then report that sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream is also beneficial?”
I instantly chuckled…good one!…this “request” coming from my fellow fibromyalgia (comedian) twitter friend. Sounds great, ha ha…truly, I would if I could, I thought… but…I’m all about trying to keep fit, eat healthy, and basically, fighting the chronic fatigue continuous urge to stay in bed all day…EVERYTHING I DO is to try to have the energy to NOT need to spend the day in bed!
But then…I really thought about it, and…now, I haven’t done any research, exactly…but…I thought…I think I can make a case for that…yes, definitely!
“Sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream is also beneficial”…why not!?
So let me explain.
Having fibromyalgia for going on seventeen years now, I’ve entirely raised my family of three kids (which is pretty demanding all on its own without chronic illness!) while also working, and building a house, and so on and so on…through a slew of life circumstances, really…all while battling fibromyalgia. And considering only the chronic fatigue aspect of fibromyalgia alone (but there’s so much more!), well, the hours of the day to be fairly productive at anything have been maybe, one to two thirds of “regular” peoples’ days, and even that includes pushing through fatigue lots of the time. And well, the remaining hours that were not as productive…I was still pushing through the fatigue, trying hard to get things accomplished at whatever (often times snail) pace I could manage.
So, trying to keep up everything…while working with a reduced day of fairly to somewhat productive hours right off the bat…I pushed and dragged myself through many, many years continually just barely getting to the required work that needed to be done…and increasingly becoming more (and more!) behind on even that…weeks, months, even years…many things just never getting done any longer.
I was drowning in the drudgery of life chores…so often never getting to the fun in life, or if I did, I had no energy for it so I was pretty much just dragging myself through it, not always enjoying it so much but going through the motions to still somehow participate in my and my families’ lives .
I went through a lot of years like that, with all my energy having to go to those things that I needed to get done in life…the work. With my reduced productive hours, it’s the fun, extra things, that had to go, because well, those darn kids wanted to eat…and have clothes to wear…etc. etc.…just kidding, but you get the picture. My world got smaller and the majority of what was left in it was the necessary work because I was not going to sacrifice the kind of normal everyday family life I wanted my kids to have.
So with the crushing chronic fatigue (accompanied by a multitude of annoying to downright scary symptoms on the side), as I pushed and dragged myself around my house and through life getting the work done, the thought that would come to me at times was that old saying, that it feels like I’m WORKING MYSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE. That’s what it felt like…exactly.
WORKING MYSELF INTO AN EARLY GRAVE.
Now don’t get me wrong…I’ve thoroughly enjoyed my kids and I’ve still loved my life overall…I have no regrets…I’d do it all over again, exactly the same. I AM an optimist and in the big picture, I won’t allow fibromyalgia or anything else to take away my inner spirit and hope…but…I admit…I had my moments…really low mind-set moments…sometimes I WAS thinking…I’m working myself into an early grave…and, how am I going to do life like this (with fibromyalgia) for another forty years? (I know you know.)
Man, oh man, I needed a break!! (Maybe like…sitting in bed for a day!?)
AND come to think of it, I HAVE been of the work-hard-play-hard mentality my whole adult life, since university really. I’m a (happy-to-be) workaholic and for a workaholic, I’ve found sitting around doing nothing is about as “playing hard” as I can get. Does that make sense? My idea of “playing” these days, after almost seventeen years of pushing myself through the crushing chronic fatigue and myriad of other annoying to downright scary fibromyalgia symptoms, IS actually…doing nothing! That would be the ultimate “playing hard” break for me now.
I suppose it’s not too different than, what I used to consider my “mental health day”, when I worked in a fast paced high stress environment and every once in awhile I would spontaneously take an afternoon off work and just walk aimlessly around a mall, maybe shopping a little, maybe not, but just getting a change-up from the norm of everything I HAD to do, for a much needed break, a lift in my spirits…stress relief really.
This break from the norm…that’s where the power of it comes in for me.
As in, I’ve always been a big believer in what I think of as “the splurge”. If I’m doing something all the time, it becomes the norm, and it no longer gives me the fun break or thrill. I’m pretty conscious of this, of keeping things for a treat, something to look forward to, for anything in life really. I first learned to do this a long time ago, with my diet. If I’m eating ice-cream every day, which I would absolutely LOVE to do, it becomes my norm, not nearly as enjoyable as keeping it for my once a week “splurge” which, looking forward to it gives me the willpower to keep on the straight and narrow the rest of the week to NOT devour all the treats that I would surely love to eat. It motivates me because I’ve learned I enjoy the splurge completely (with no guilt) when it’s a hard earned and totally deserved reward treat…I don’t want to ruin the pure unadulterated delight of the “the splurge” by having it regularly. Does that make sense?
And this breaking from the norm or “the splurge” in some cases, it can be anything really, but I find it especially powerful and useful for me if it can be fairly easy trivial things…yes, FAIRLY EASY TRIVIAL THINGS. I feel that if I can learn to be happy about and excited about and enthused about and look forward to the little EASILY ATTAINABLE trivial things in life, then I will always be able to be happy. Life has it’s ups and downs, many beyond our control…we can’t guarantee we will always (or ever) be able to attain the big things, the riches, the trips, a certain lifestyle etc…so these things are a bonus to me (if I attain any at all), I don’t rely on them…I’m grateful I don’t NEED them to be happy.
And I find, having a busy life raising three kids, with all that battling fibromyalgia requires from me, the little trivial things have been THE EASIEST TO FIT IN TO AND MANAGE TO BE ABLE TO DO IN MY LIFE…things that I can easily do within the confines of my life, things that don’t cost much if anything so I can always afford them, things I have the time to do, and especially (above everything else) things that don’t depend on anyone else so they can’t be taken away (and take away my sense of control over my happiness as fibromyalgia already seems to work overtime on trying to do).
So I love to get enthusiastic about and encourage myself to look forward to the small things in life, things that may seem like no big deal or trivial to others…THINGS THAT ARE EASY TO MAKE POSSIBLE. Really, I decide to be excited about my everyday life…because frankly, it’s just nicer to live life that way…and I build these little treats and “splurges” into it to help do that.
And I guess I’m lucky to think this way because these small things sure fit with the chronic illness life as I know it…I doubt I will be bungee jumping or sky diving for fun, or for a “mental health day” for stress relief!
But hmm…I DO love ice-cream…and it DOES fit with “the splurge”.
AND my ultimate “playing hard” break WOULD be sitting around doing nothing.
So, yeah…sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream!? I’m on board! I can get behind this!!
How could that NOT be beneficial? I mean, really! As long as I EMBRACE IT and ENJOY IT, no feelings of shame or guilt or that I should be doing something else…and if it’s indeed a “splurge”…if it’s not everyday, this treat is hard earned…I will. And if it’s in moderation, of course…I’m all about moderation. I do things in moderation; I feel I can’t go (as) wrong that way overall. In any event, having fibromyalgia, I’ve found that too much lying around leads to more lethargy, sluggishness and fatigue for me, so it HAS to be in moderation for me.
Yes, as I said earlier, I’m (around-the-clock) all about trying to keep fit, eat healthy, and basically, fighting the chronic fatigue continuous urge to stay in bed all day.
But this is different…or it CAN be…if it’s in the spirit of “the splurge”. One thing I’ve particularly liked about being an adult and decades later, still delight in for some unknown reason…I can do whatever I want…I can eat a cookie before dinner and spoil my supper (sorry, Mom, but I do that now). Why, a few weeks ago, my kids and I, spontaneously, even had popcorn…just popcorn…for supper one night!
So yeah, sit in bed all day and eat a tub of ice cream…why not?!? Life is too short.
GO FOR IT! (not every day though!…and you know who you are!)
But knock yourself out…stay in bed…all day…get a tub of ice-cream…even the most decadent kind you can imagine…give yourself a break, a treat, “the splurge”…to help recharge…to regenerate…to boost your mind-set…to fuel your zest for life!
Do it…or whatever else you can dream up for your “mental health day”.
Because you’re battling the formidable fibromyalgia…you’re pushing and dragging yourself through every day, every hour, doing whatever you have to do in life…you DESERVE a break…you’ve EARNED a break…you NEED a break…YOU NEED SOME FUN!!
And what I know is real from close to seventeen years of living with fibromyalgia, without a doubt, no research needed, is that anything that gives me a break, is fun, is positive, lifts my spirits, boosts my mind-set…lowers my stress…will be good for my fibromyalgia too!
So, yeah…definitely. I’m not an expert, but from where I stand, I have to say that sitting in bed all day with a gallon of ice cream looks pretty beneficial to me!
I’d go for it.
